What We Have, We'll Hold
by Dream Horizon
Summary: ‘There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.’ Just how far will Sam go to save his brother? Two souls. One fate. No option. Post AHBL 1 and 2. Part 3 of 3 now up.
1. Chapter 1

**What We Have, We'll Hold**

**Summary**

'There is _nothing_ I wouldn't do for you.' Just how far will Sam go to save his brother? Two souls. One fate. No option. Post AHBL 1 and 2. Part 1 of 3.

**Disclaimer**

I do not own anything Supernatural related apart from pics with Jensen from Asylum, a signed photo of Jared and some DVD's. That and an obsession um enthusiasm of epic proportions…

**Author's Notes**

This is dedicated to Geminigrl without whom my stories would be littered with random punctuation and awful grammar - She really is the most wonderful Beta and easily the most patient woman in the world! Thank you, Gem; this would be a far poorer tale without you. Moreover, a belated Happy Birthday!

It goes without saying, any mistakes are all mine unfortunately!

Thanks also to Catbeist and Sifi for their tremendous support and for making me smile on those hard days!

Lastly – a special mention to SpikeLover7 whose one-shot, 'Numbers', inspired me to try my own take on the numbers game… thank you SL7 for the inspiration and the permission to play with numbers too!

**Warnings**

Post All Hell Breaks Loose fic – if you haven't sent the Season 2 Finale and do not wish to be spoiled, go no further!

Rated T to be safe for the occasional naughty word, a wee bit gore, and angst.

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**Chapter 1**

It had been a year to the day since Sam had discovered he had died at the hands of Jake. A year since the man had severed his spine and left him broken, a marionette with his strings cut. Left him to fall into his brother's arms and die there. His killing stroke a mortal wound on both brothers.

Twelve months since he had been unknowing brought back. Brought back by a brother who should have known better, did know better but despite everything had refused to let his brother go.

365 days had passed since his brother had sold his soul for him. _For him._ And then begged him not to be mad at him for it. Not that Sam was; terrified for his brother, yes, devastated that a bargain had been made for something pure in place of something tainted. But never mad.

8760 hours had lapsed in attempt after attempt to destroy the Crossroads Demon. They had tried traps and incantations, they had bastardised exorcisms and twisted every ritual and charm they could lay their hands on, but all had been in vain. The Demon would not be fooled twice and had refused Sam's own offer one desperate night the week before, her mocking words, "you cannot sell what is no longer yours to trade, Sammy" still haunting him.

525,600 minutes had been lost in fruitless search for a way to release his big brother from his deal with the devil. His laptop destroyed in a fit of rage only hours earlier. What use was all of that information if it could not be used to save the one person in the world he had to, the one person who he could not fail and who did not deserve his failure?

31,536,000 seconds over in the blink of an eye.

If he could just remain focused on the time that was lost, he could ignore the fact that what he was losing was something that more precious.

Dean…

Sam's breath hitched and it felt as if every moment of the last twelve months was bearing down on him all at once, crushing his soul, drowning his spirit.

Could you actually drown in time? Perhaps if he did, would that break the deal for Dean?

He stood at his brother's back. Not wanting him to be alone, unwilling to leave despite every single cell in his body screaming for him to turn away, not wanting to witness what was to come. But wilful son of a stubborn father, he stayed. He swore he would have his brother's back, and come hell or high water, he was not moving.

Dean felt the warmth of his brother at his back and almost unconsciously tilted against him.

He needed Sam here, but he also needed him to be as far away from what was to come as possible. He had tried to send Sam away the night before, but Sam had simply looked at him with eyes dark and unyielding. "I'm not leaving you, Dean." His brother's voice had been husky with emotion, heavy with words that should be said but would not be. "Don't ask me to do that."

Sam had tried to get him out of the deal, God he had tried, and his refusal to let him go, his decision to fight with everything he had, his absolute determination never to give up, to find a way out for them both, gave Dean the strength to face this moment with resolute calm.

He would be lying if he said he wasn't scared. Christ, he wasn't suicidal; he didn't _want_ to die. But he didn't regret what he had done either. To do that would be to regret his brother was alive, here and now, and that was something the older brother could never do. He didn't want to go to hell, he certainly did not want to leave his brother to continue this fight alone, and especially knowing when the end did come they would still be apart. Despite Sam's fears, Dean knew that Sam's final destination would not include even a hint of sulphur or flame. But since when the hell did the Winchesters ever get what they wanted?

It had been Dean's choice to come to this place for his time of payment, back to the original spot where the deal had been made. They may not be able to get out of the deal but like fuck were they going to hide and wait for her hounds to find them. They had faced every evil in their life head-on and this would be no exception.

He glanced over his shoulder to see his brother's drawn face. In this past year, Sam had seemed to age ten. His features were haggard and drawn from far too little sleep and far too much pressure. Shoulders once strong and erect were now bowed under the strain. Dean had accepted that the deal may have been irreversible when he had made it - he was far from stupid. But he had not anticipated that Sam would find out so quickly, nor the effect it would have on his brother.

He was finally realising that his brother loved him as fiercely as he loved him, that he was needed in his brother's life, that he was wanted, cherished, loved….

The strength of his brother's belief in him still astonished him now. Sam's eyes weary and pained were still intense with a fire that was his alone. A ferocious protectiveness that Dean knew existed but had never recognized now tried to shield him from the dark that threatened to infect his soul.

He would die today, but Sam would never let him go.

The thought both warmed and terrified him. He looked closer at his brother's eyes and noticed a new determination and focus there.

"Sam?" he whispered in growing concern.

His brother's face became even more pinched and whitened impossibly further.

"She's here…"

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The two brothers now stood side-by-side within a circle of goofer dust and salt that Sam had literally glued to the ground in the dead centre of the crossroad. _No wind was going to disturb this baby_, Sam grinned humourlessly. They might not have been able to break the deal, but no one said they were going to make things easy for the demon. Or that they had completely lost hope just yet; they still had a few tricks up their sleeves.

They were hunters and were not about to go meekly or quietly. Sam couldn't believe in anything less.

Ravenous growls filled the night air and wind began to whip dust around the circle. Deep imprints of immense clawed paws paced around the perimeter.

The crossroads demon strolled casually towards them…"Dean…fancy meeting you here…my, doesn't time fly when you are having fun?" The red-eyed demon grinned maliciously. "Oh and you brought me a gift. You shouldn't have."

The raven-haired woman looked the two brothers up and down lasciviously, her tongue brushed contemplatively across her lips as a regretful sigh escaped her. "Still, a deal is a deal, I suppose. You'd best stand back from your brother, Sammy, would hate for you to get covered in entrails – my pets are such messy eaters. After all, you have enough blood on your hands as it is."

Sam flinched momentarily before dipping his hands into his pockets and casting out a powder-like substance at the paw prints surrounding them. There were pained howls and then, suddenly, three hellhounds become visible. Hate-filled crimson eyes glared at them and putrid breath blew across the two young men past teeth a sabre tooth tiger would have been proud of. Their fur was matted with blood and putrefying flesh, maggots crawling from there eyes and ears, before disappearing into their panting maws.

"I'm not sure that's an improvement, Sam," Dean muttered.

"Patience, young Padawan."

"You're referencing Star Wars now?" Dean asked incredulously. Sam smiled briefly as he pulled out a shotgun from behind his back and almost casually fired at the nearest hellhound.

It let out a startled yelp and backed up a step, looking in confusion at its mistress.

"You shot my dog!"

Dean pulled out his own gun and blasted a hound that had tried to flank them.

"You are up to date with your tetanus, right Sam?"

"Yeah, because lockjaw_ is_ my main concern right now," the young hunter commented wryly.

The crimson-eyed demon snarled and narrowed her eyes as her hounds continued pacing just out of reach of the guns. "You know you cannot keep this up forever, don't you boys? You're only putting off the inevitable."

Sam raised his gun once more as the crossroads demon approached them. "I wouldn't do that Sam. You'll kill the sweet girl I am currently occupying, not to mention piss me off. And the problem with goofer dust is that yes, it works for my hounds for a while, but at the end of the day, no one tricked your brother into this pact. It's all fair and above board and …"

Her arm whipped out and with surprising strength yanked Dean from the protection of the circle and tossed him towards the hounds. She continued without even pausing for breath, "…it has absolutely no effect when I am collecting on a legitimate contract."

With anticipatory growls, the hounds turned their attention to the fallen brother and lunged.

They stopped abruptly with anguished yowls as if tethered by an invisible leash and turned their heads to the demon.

"What is wrong with you? _Kill him."_ She snarled.

The hounds shook their heads and whined.

She looked down at Dean and saw confusion quickly replaced by fearful understanding, his head whipping around to a now empty protective circle. His brother stood directly behind the demon, his brow furrowed in concentration, his wide, almost-black eyes fixed on the hounds. Sweat beaded his brow and trickled down the side of his face and his chest heaved in obvious exertion.

"Sammy, no." Dean whispered, terror at what his brother was attempting causing his heart to pound painfully.

The crossroads demon whirled on the youngest Winchester. "What did you do?"

"Annul the contract." Sam growled, his voice causing a shiver to creep down Dean's

spine before setting in his stomach. He sounded cold, dark, _sinister._

"Why should I?" The demon seemed genuinely puzzled.

A cold smile lightened the young hunter's features in a mockery of his customary warmth.

"Because if you don't, those pets of yours will be having _you_ for dinner."

"You wouldn't risk the host." The demon sneered; however, the sneer faltered at the cold indifference on Sam's face.

"I don't care about her one way or the other. Annul the agreement and you are free to leave."

"Your brother's soul is bought and paid for. He's _mine."_ The Demon's hand flew out and pinned the elder brother to the ground. She stalked closer and pulled out a wicked-looking blade and held it to Dean's throat.

"Sam, don't." Dean called to his sibling. Sam froze and with obvious effort, his face cleared and the last of the warmth in his gaze faded to a cold fire. He nonchalantly strolled to the surprised demon; his long fingers gently caressed her face. She stiffened.

"No, sweetheart. _**He's mine."**_

The red-eyed woman screamed.

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A/N – Mwa hahaaaaa…

Coughs…that evil laugh will take it out of you!

Hope you have enjoyed this so far – please read, review, and let me know what you think!

All three parts are already written so no long delays, I promise!

For anyone waiting for When Angels Fall cough Clarice cough lol - the last chapter should be up soon – thank you so much for your kindness and patience.

Did I mention reviews are like chocolate and sunshine to me? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge…

Lol…

Thanks for reading!

Dream


	2. Chapter 2

**What We Have, We'll Hold**

**Summary**

'There is nothing I wouldn't do for you.' Just how far will Sam go to save his brother? Two souls. One fate. No option. Post AHBL 1 and 2. Part 2 of 3.

**Disclaimer**

Still not mine. Those fabulous boys belong to the genius that is Kripke. Right Kripke? You're a genius, and strong. Did I mention strong? Don't give in to the suits, dude!

**Author's Notes**

Many, many thanks to everyone who has reviewed. I am so glad, not to mention relieved that you are liking this so far. Much love and huggles to Gem, Beist and Sifi as always. Hope you continue to enjoy, please let me know if you do!

**Warnings**

Post All Hell Breaks Loose fic – if you haven't sent the Season 2 Finale and do not wish to be spoiled, go no further!

Rated T to be safe for the occasional naughty word, a wee bit gore, and angst.

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**Chapter 2**

Sam had feared, deep down that it would come to this. He had known the instant that Dean confessed the nature of the deal that this would be his last resort. He didn't want to harm the host body of the demon, but time had run out and he was out of options.

He had allowed Dean to believe that his abilities had died with the Yellow Eyed Demon. It hadn't been hard, since he no longer suffered from his visions. Not that he did not have them but they were no longer as painful as they once were. Andy had given him the idea and he had been practicing meditation techniques for a while now, learning to calm his mind and focus his emotions.

He had never deliberately tried to control his abilities, in case the 'switch' was irreversible. He'd been afraid that, once he had crossed that line, he could not come back. Now that the Yellow Eyed Demon was dead, though, he hoped that the abilities would not be as wholly corrupting, would not make him turn.

But it was still an unknown that he had refused to give in to until he was faced with the fact that there was no other way to save his brother.

As the demon approached them in their protective circle, his mind had flashed back to a year ago, when he first found out about the deal, and to the promise he had made his brother.

"_**You save my life. Over and over. I mean you sacrifice everything for me. Don't you think I'd do the same for you? You're my big brother. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you. And I don't care what it takes; I am going to get you out of this. Guess I gotta save your ass for a change."**_

Sam was standing by those words. As the Demon tore his brother from his side and the safety of the circle, he realised that the 'nothing he wouldn't do' was the exact truth. He would do anything.

He closed his eyes and in the darkness of his mind, surrendered.

It was as if a cascade of switches flipped, one after another. With growing ease, he reached out and grabbed the hellhounds with his mind.

It was so easy. _Too _easy.

_Why have I not done this before? _

He could see the eddies and swirls of dark energies surrounding the demon and her hounds and it was so effortless to catch them, to sever their link to their mistress and to gain control over their feeble minds.

Dean watched in horror as the face of his little brother grew cold and distant, a small smile tugging at his lips as he looked down at the demon at his feet.

The crossroads demon whimpered and held a shaking hand to her face as blood began to trickle from her nose.

"No, you can't…" She whispered. She looked up at the huge man towering above her. "Just what _are_ you?"

For a moment, a golden light seemed to swirl in the depths of Sam's hazel eyes…

_Fuck._

Dean had seen that before, the same light in Jake's eyes just before he had opened the doors to hell.

"Sam?" His voice an almost broken whisper. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Sammy?"

His brother ignored him and crouched down to bring himself level with the demon. "You will do as you are told." He cupped her face with one hand in an unsettlingly gentle manner, fingers almost tenderly brushing her cheek. "You will do as I say and annul the contract with my brother."

"I can't."

"You won't." His fingers tightened until they were almost bone-white.

The demon tugged her face from his grip, white imprints of his fingers contrasting starkly with her blood red gaze. "No, you don't understand, I can't."

"You did for Dean with Evan Hudson. "

"Only because another bargain was made. You were told by my cousin – the one you called the Yellow Eyed Demon. The only way we can save lives is if a deal is made. Your brother made a deal with me to release him. Tell you what, Sammy." The demon brushed the blood away from her lips and drew herself haggardly to her feet. "I'll make you the same deal as I did your brother. A year for his life."

"Not much of a deal."

"Another year with your brother, and who knows – you might even figure out a way to destroy me." The Demon spoke with growing confidence.

"I thought you said my soul was not mine to give." Sam reminded her, Dean looked between the two. _What were they talking about?_

"Oh, it isn't, but I like your style, Sammy, so I'll settle for your life."

Sam smirked and the demon let out a pained gasp.

"I don't think so, sweetheart."

"Two years." She ground out. A shudder ran through her as she fought the increasing pain in her mind as she fought for control. Sam was using her own host's nervous system against her.

Sam stared at her wordlessly, his eyes narrowing. "Five years." The demon ground out before falling back to her knees with a cry. She clutched at her head, rocking. "Ten, I'll give you both ten years!" She screamed.

"No, you'll give me my brother, no bartering, no deals. You will release him from his contract and you will leave us be."

"Make me!"

"I know that won't work – if I control you, it means _I'm_ breaking the deal, not you. The hounds won't fall for that."

"How…"

"Oh you would be surprised at what I know now." Sam grinned mockingly down at her.

"I can't!" She screamed. "A trade has to be done or else the hounds…" She faltered, "The hounds will turn on _me._ They are not mine. _They are not mine!"_

"Not my problem. If you don't, _I'll_ set them on you. Your death for my brother. There's your deal." He knelt down once more beside her. "I control them at the moment - I can at least give you a good head-start."

"Go to hell, you bastard!" She spat out.

"You first, baby." Sam stood and casually knocking her to the ground with his mind.

He slowly backed a step before glancing at the hellhounds. They paced obediently toward him to stand at his side. He turned to face the demon once more. "Annul the contract!" The hounds drew close to the demon, heads low, teeth bared, deep growls seemed to flow around them.

"Sam! Stop! Look at what you are doing! This isn't you, Sammy!" Dean broke out of the stupor he'd been in, the shock of seeing this dark reflection of his brother wearing off. Part of him enjoyed seeing the demon desperately trying to make a bargain, a twisted example of the punishment fitting the crime. But it was too much. Sam was crossing a dangerous line, and he couldn't just sit back and watch it happen.

He pushed himself back to his feet and placed himself between the demon and the hounds. He knew that he was fast losing his brother, if he hadn't already. He had to get through before Sam did something he would never forgive himself for.

Sam glanced at his brother, an almost comical look of confusion and dismay breaking through. "Dean, I said there was nothing I wouldn't do to save you, and I meant it. Besides, what are you protecting _her _for? She's a demon!"

"The host is human, Sam, you know that."

"So were Meg and the man you shot with the Colt, Dean."

"I know, and I have to live with that. I don't want you to have to live with that, too."

"Stop trying to protect me. This is the only way to save your life, not to mention your soul!"

"But at the cost of your own, Sam? How can you expect me to live with that?" Dean tried desperately to make his brother understand.

"Dean, I can control this. You have to believe me." Sam looked earnestly at his brother, and Dean, just for a moment, thought maybe this is all an act, a trick to fool the demon. But the yellow swirls surfaced once more and he knew, _he knew_ that if Sam didn't stop now, he never would.

"I believe you think you can, but look at what you are doing, Sammy, really look and tell me that it isn't corrupting you already!"

"You have no faith in me at all, do you?" Sam smiled sadly. Dean felt himself be moved ever so gently to one side. "Leave, Dean, I've got this."

The demon looked up at Dean. "Please…" She whispered.

Dean shook his head. "I'm not going anywhere, Sam. You'll have to make me."

Sam looked hurt. "You know I would never do that."

"At this point, bro. I'm not sure I know anything about you at all." Dean said the words to hurt, and inwardly flinched when he saw the barb hit home.

"I'm doing this for _you_."

"No, Sam. You're doing this for yourself. The same as the deal I made to bring you back was really for myself. Don't make the same mistakes Dad and I have. Sometimes we just have to accept the consequences of our actions."

"No." Sam growled and Dean felt himself be moved further with a little more force this time.

The hounds were millimetres away from the fallen demon; rank saliva dripping down to the ground next to her face.

Sam looked down dispassionately and moved to gesture to the hounds. But he hesitated.

Dean held his breath. He had to have faith in his brother now, that the good in Sam would not allow an innocent to be harmed, would not turn its back and allow something evil to hold sway, even if that evil was a taint within himself. Especially so.

Sam looked at his brother, then back at the fallen demon that had begun to weep in terror at the sight of the hounds closing around her.

"C'mon, Sam. You have to know this is wrong." Dean whispered.

His brother took a tentative step forward, and the hounds turned towards the youngest Winchester, their snarls deepening.

"No…" Sam gasped, one hand going to his forehead. "Stop!" He growled out. He looked down at the frightened woman and the walked towards her. He bent and pulled her roughly to her feet. She whispered something to him and his expressive eyes narrowed then widened in something akin to shock. Dean walked quickly to where they both stood.

The hounds were circling all three of them now and the demon turned to the elder brother and spoke sadly. "It's too late."

"What do you mean?"

"If Sam's soul reasserts itself he will loose control of the hounds and they will turn on us all."

"Can't you take back control?"

"No, you're brother severed the connection too well. They will not listen to me now. Either Sam surrenders to the darkness in his soul or we will all die, and I'm afraid the both of you will go to hell as well as my host. Either way, your brother's soul is lost, Dean. Accept his gift and at least the two of you will survive." Her voice took on a bitter edge. "Either way I'm screwed."

"No." Sam ground out.

"You have no choice." The demon spoke tiredly. "And besides, it's too late. No-one has ever overcome the demon taint. You will lose or you will die."

"There's always a choice. But before I make mine, you said my soul was not mine to give. Whose is it?"

"What? You don't know?"

"What are you two going on about?" Dean asked testily.

"Your brother came to me to make a deal last week…"

"_Sam!"_

"Shut up, Dean, you're one to talk!" And he was right, Dean couldn't really comment.

"He wanted to make a deal, but I explained I couldn't. That his soul wasn't his to give."

"It's because I'm tainted isn't it. I always was going to hell, wasn't I?" Sam asked tiredly. He could feel his hold on the hounds waning as he listened to his brother and the demon.

The demon barked out a surprised laugh. "You two really are clueless aren't you? How you have both lasted as long, I'll never understand. No, Sam. The yellow eyed demon tried to poison you. Until now, without any success. The only power he ever had was what you gave him. No, you gave your soul away along time ago."

"What?" Dean snapped out, turning suddenly frightened eyes on his brother.

"To you, Dean."

"People don't own other peoples souls, lady."

"Sometimes I forget you are both so very young." The crossroads demon sighed.

"Sam made a deal along time ago, to do anything for you to be kept safe. He made a very powerful pact, invoking various entities and deities. He said all the right words, but most importantly he _believed_ them, fervently. He has prayed for your life and soul for over twenty years, Dean, promising his own time and time again, if only to keep you safe."

"A lot of people do that."

"Not as many as you think. And not many have the need or the absolute devotion for it to mean anything." She paused as she looked at the younger Winchester, who had broken out into a sweat. She continued quickly, knowing his hold on the hounds was weakening.

Dean opened his mouth and closed it again at the demon's look. "I know you made the same promises, Dean, but where you were not psychic, your brother always was. And his mind forged a link. Sam's soul has always been tied to yours, Dean; you have been guarding it as well as his life all this time."

"Why do you think you were both kept alive by your demon? It knew that it would never wholly have Sam, unless it had you as well. That and it knew the only way to get to Sam was to go for you. He allowed Jake to kill Sam. He knew he would not turn, so he put you in a position where your only choice was to sell your soul so that when the time came, Sam would make the right choice. And why do you think I was so keen to get my hands on you?" She grinned quickly. "Among other reasons, I knew to get your soul meant I would have a claim on Sam's, which would put me in a position of power when the time of war came. Only I underestimated you both."

She turned to the younger brother, who was trembling slightly under the strain of trying to keep a balance between keeping the hellhounds under control and losing grip of his conscience.

"So, Sammy, have you made your choice?" She knew that the truths she had shared would place him off-balance and would make him all the more determined.

Sam frowned. "I want to make a deal."

"What?" The Demon looked confused.

"If I get rid of the hounds, you free Dean from the contract."

"You cannot kill hellhounds, Sam, only a high level demon…" She stopped. "Oh."

"Sammy, don't you dare!"

"Do we have a deal?"

"I get you both if you don't?"

Sam laughed. "You are determined, aren't you?"

"My one and only virtue. Well?"

"If you release the girl, too, then yes, you have a deal." Before Dean could react the demon leant forward and kissed Sam thoroughly.

The two finally parted and the demon smiled appreciatively.

Sam turned to his brother, a gut-wrenching mixture of fear and determination clearly showing in his expressive face.

"Sam…"

"I need you to get me back."

"What are you talking about? Get you back from where?"

"It's the only way, Dean. Please, you have to trust in me, trust in _us_. _We_ can beat this."

The demon shook her head in disbelief. The boy was really going to try. Shame, she liked him, she liked them both.

Sam closed his eyes and his face cleared of all emotion.

"I surrender." He murmured softly and Dean's knees almost buckled.

"No!" Dean cried and tried to throw himself at his brother, the Demon held him back.

"Too late, he's gone." She hissed.

Sam's eyes opened. The warm hazel gaze was no more, nor were there any glimmers of yellow. Instead, his eyes were a vivid and intense gold and Dean wanted to throw up. Sam's gaze slid unseeing across Dean and the demon and he slowly approached the hounds, who actually wagged their deformed and rotting tails as he drew close.

He patted each one in turn then moved to stand behind them.

Dean held his breath as Sam's gaze focussed on his over the hounds' heads. Sam's lips curved into an unholy smile and the hounds began to bay and snarl. They strained towards them and with an almost casual grace, Sam gestured for them to attack.

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A/N...

Soooo...what do you think? I am hoping you are still enjoying this. The third chapter is ready to post in a day or two. Please let me know what you think and thanks for reading!

And for those worried about Sam - you know I love him, right? Don't worry - he's not finished fighting yet!

Love and hugs!

Dream

p.s. thanks for the virtual chocolate - especially the life sized version of Jared...hmmm.yummy... :)

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For those avoiding my mental silliness, stop here...

For Beist...

Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Pinky?

That poor girl has a terrible eye infection - look how red they are, Brains!

I'm thinking that maybe we should get Evil Fan Girl on our side. She has power, look at what she has done to the Winchesters. _And_ she stole Batman's car.

She's _is_ evil, Brains. But isn't she rather short to take over the world?

Have you never heard of Napoleon, Pinky?

Isn't it a three coloured ice-cream, Brains?

No, he was a brilliant, megalomaniacal dictator. No Pinky, not a tape recorder...Never mind...

So what do we do now, Brains?

What we do every night, Pinky. We're going to take over the world!

Can we stop for ice cream first?

No, Pinky. We have plans to make and allegiances to forge.

With the Ice Cream girl?

Will you drop the ice cream, Pinky?

But we haven't bought any yet, Brains!

Shut up, Pinky.

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Holy Mutated Midget Mouse Batman!

Yes Robin, who knew they were free? And their plan to team up with Evil Fan Girl must be stopped!

But Holy Dean Defending, Batman. Sam has went Dark Side!

I'm sure he has a plan, Robin. Remember, this is based on Star Wars...

But Holy Soul Safeguarding Sibling, Batman! We should have guessed!

Would you stop spitting on me, Robin? It stains the satin.

Satin, Batman? Your costume is made of _satin_?

Well, you know how badly silk creases, Robin. Robin, stop looking at me like that. Look I'm allergic to synthetics, alright?

We best keep that a secret. Look out Batman, isn't that Evil Fan Girl and oh no, is that _polyester_ she is carrying?

Run, Robin!

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	3. Chapter 3

**What We Have, We'll Hold**

**Summary**

'There is nothing I wouldn't do for you.' Just how far will Sam go to save his brother? Two souls. One fate. No option. Post AHBL 1 and 2. Part 3 of 3.

**Disclaimer**

I'm a good girl and was always taught to share with my friends. You're my friend, right Kripke? Unfortunately still not mine, but a girl can hope, and dream, and wish...

**Author's Notes**

I cannot thank enough everyone who has read and hopefully enjoyed this fic. Special appreciation to those who have taken the time to review, you don't realise how much you brighten my day!

Heartfelt thanks to Geminigrl for her being such a wonderful and supportive beta, I would be lost without her! And a huge thank you to Faye Dartmouth for her excellent suggestions and insight. Any fic of mine is dramatically improved by both of you. HUGS! (Also hand wringing, boy this finishing a fic can be terrifying in case it falls down...)

**Warnings**

Post All Hell Breaks Loose fic – if you haven't sent the Season 2 Finale and do not wish to be spoiled, go no further!

Rated T to be safe for the occasional naughty word, a wee bit pain and anguish. Hopefully I don't disappoint you guys! Oh there is a POV shift a couple of times but I tried to separate them as much as possible, hopefully it worked.

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**Chapter 3**

The hell-hounds raced towards the spot where Dean and the demon stood. Both the elder brother and the demon stepped back at the fury bearing down on them. Dean's eyes flicked to Sam, knowing that if his brother went through with this and ever came back to himself, Sam would never forgive his own actions. Dean swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry, as the fate he had almost resigned himself to closed in. He could feel the demon's nails digging in to his arms as she tugged him another useless step back.

Then, as they neared, the hound at the front suddenly spun and tore a chunk out of its companion. There was a sharp yelp, and abruptly all three hounds were tearing into each other. Blood spattered the ground and whimpers and snarls erupted from the mass of writhing, tormented fur and flesh.

Both hunter and demon looked on in confusion at the sight of the hounds turning on each other.

"Impossible," the demon whispered, and Dean felt his blood turn to ice at her shocked expression.

Within moments, it was over, and the only movement in the hounds on the ground in front of them was that of the maggots that suddenly had a banquet beneath them.

Both the demon and Dean looked in disbelief at the mass of unmoving fur.

"Wow." The crossroads demon spoke with more than a little awe – she would never have believed it possible, but then again, her kind always did have a tendency to underestimate this family. "The kid did it." She said softly. The demon suddenly smiled broadly at the two brothers… "Well, you kept your part of the bargain, Sammy. Dean, our contract is void." She backed away hurriedly, knowing that any hold the youngest hunter had could be temporary and fleeting.

She paused and bit her lip indecisively. She looked at the two brothers, from Sam rigid and in obvious pain to Dean who was twisted towards his brother, hope and fear warring for supremacy and prematurely aging his handsome face. One little push, one more attack on Dean and she could tip Sam over the edge. There was no doubt that Dean would follow. He was not one to allow his brother to make a journey like that alone. These two were linked, the fate of one would decide both, their bond was a weakness, a curse in their profession, but it was also their salvation.

What shocked her, though, was that she didn't want to destroy them, not yet and not like this, not as long as they were pawns in her late-cousin's game. A small seed of rebellion was taking hold - she liked these two. Not in a sentimental fashion, but mostly because they were entertaining and the world was a far more interesting place with them in it. More dangerous maybe, but whoever said that the only adrenalin junkies were human? They were a challenge, not to mention delectable. _Fuck it._ She would do it her way, when _she _wanted to.

Turning her crimson gaze on Sam's tortured features, she could feel the burn of her cousin's blood as it coursed through his tall frame. It was slowly succeeding in its bid to scorch his humanity from the inside out, like demonic septicaemia. _Sulphurcemia_, she thought dryly - _wonder if that'll ever make the Lancet?_ The hunter was putting up a tremendous battle, but he was fighting a whole tide of hell alone and in his pain and confusion had lost his grip on that which grounded him.

Looking back over her shoulder, she called back to the elder Winchester. "Dean? Hurry. You're brother needs you – he's losing ground."

That was as much help as she was willing to give him, and if even that was discovered, there would be all hell to pay. The demon grinned and vanished.

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Dean hurried to where Sam stood, unmoving, his gaze still that sickening shade of gold. His shock at the sudden and violent demise of the hounds was turning to a deep-seated fear for his brother, an almost soul-chilling terror at what it may have cost Sam, what it may mean for his brother's soul that he could do this. _Had _done this. Dean's chest constricted with the knowledge that they may have gone full circle -- and that he could still lose Sam.

"Sam?"

There was no answer.

"C'mon kiddo, answer me." Tremors wracked his younger brother's body. The sweat beading his brow began to trickle down the side of his face, which had taken on an unhealthy grey pallor, except for his cheeks that were pinched and flushed dark with fever. Dark locks of hair now clung and curled against his cheeks and neck. Even from where he stood, Dean could feel the heat emanating from Sam.

"Sam, you have to turn it off. Whatever fucking switch you threw, you have to turn it back off! Are you listening to me? You are not giving in to that yellow-eyed bastard now!"

Dean's heart broke as he watched Sam turn his face slightly, almost blindly, towards his voice, the tremors increasing in intensity. The effort of simply keeping his own body under his control was obvious to the older hunter. The golden eyes closed briefly and re-opened, the light dimming to a yellow flicker. Sam held out a trembling hand to Dean, fingers stretching out to grasp and tangle into Dean's shirt, tugging him towards him.

"Dean? Dean, it hurts." The words of a five year old needing his brother and Dean responded as he had when he was nine, gently circling his arm around his brother.

"I'm here. It'll be better soon." He hoped he wasn't lying. "You have to fight this, Sammy."

"I don't know how." His young brother sounded bewildered and afraid, as if he couldn't understand why this was happening. His face took on a lost and fearful look; one Dean would have given anything to ease.

"You said that Ava said it was like flicking a switch, right? Well, every switch has an 'off'. You just have to find it."

Sam nodded lethargically, his movements uncoordinated and pained. He leaned into Dean, and the elder hunter nearly flinched from how hot Sam's skin now was. Instead, he pulled Sam into him - his shoulder hooking under his brother's, the violence of Sam's pained shudders notching his terror for his sibling up another level.

Sam unexpectedly sagged and his knees buckled abruptly, sending them both into a crumpled heap of tangled arms and legs.

Dean quickly disentangled himself and, kneeling beside his brother, pulled him to an upright position.

A moan of pain escaped Sam's lips and he tightly gripped Dean's arm. "God, Dean…make it stop, please…I'm on fire!" His brother's anguished pleading cut into Dean like shards of glass.

"You can fight this, Sam, don't give in. You can beat this" _You have to beat this, Sammy. _

"She said no one had ever beaten this."

"Yeah, well you're a Winchester. What the hell does she know? Besides, you are not fighting this alone, remember?"

Dean felt his brother curl over his supporting arm and start to list over to one side, his knees drawing up to his chest, small whimpers of pain escaping lips tightly pressed together.

Instinctively, Dean wrapped his arms around his shaking brother's torso and lifting him up, he tilted him gently until Sam was resting against his chest. The elder brother wrapped his arms in a firm circle around his brother, protecting him from the outside world, knowing he was helpless to protect him in his internal battle.

Sam gasped, his back arching in agony and he cried out again. Blood seeped from his nose in steadily swelling rivulets and his breathing became shallow and laboured. His skin was now almost fiery to the touch and Dean feared his brother's body would soon succumb.

"Sam, you have to stop this,_ now_!"

"I can't!" Sam screamed.

Dean drew his brother closer and cradled Sam's head beneath his chin, holding him securely. He could feel Sam's heart pounding against his and could feel his own heart beat battling to match the tempo. He was losing, _they_ were losing, and he didn't know what to do.

Panic was threatening to overwhelm the elder brother, and he broke out into a cold sweat as glacial tendrils of fear seeped in to his very core; he could feel Sam slipping away and tightened his hold. He was_ not_ letting his brother go. Not after buying him back. Not after watching him waste away for a year. Not when they _both_ finally had their lives, and souls, back. He tasted salt on his lips and realised he was crying, hot tears falling onto the brother he clutched so tightly to him. He watched in horror as they sizzled against his brother's skin. Sam was on fire, god, his baby brother was burning from the inside out. And there was nothing he could do but hold on.

Dean forced himself to calm. Losing control was not going to help his brother. He deliberately slowed his breathing and, resting his cheek against the soft mop that was Sam's hair, he began to rock him gently, shushing and soothing, murmuring quietly.

"I'm here, you're not alone, Sammy, I'm here, don't go." Over and over, he rocked and shushed, his tears continuing to bathe his tortured sibling.

Slowly, he and Sam both calmed. "You can do this, kiddo. I'm here, I'm not leaving. Just stay with me and we'll be fine."

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"_C'mon kiddo, answer me."_

Deep inside Sam's mind, he could hear his brother, but there seemed to be a deafening roar flowing around him. He could hear his heart hammering and feel the blood pounding through his veins. Every cell felt as though it were on fire. But his brother was calling to him and he sounded so scared and Sam fought through the inferno in his mind to turn towards his brother. He reached out a hand, wanting to be near his brother for what he feared would be the last time.

"Dean?" God, he was burning and he was fast losing ground, every barrier he was throwing up in his mind was being torn down by the howling blaze that was tearing through him.

"Dean? It hurts." Every word a gasping torment.

"_I'm here. It'll be better soon."_ And somewhere deep inside of Sam, a small core of beleaguered hope intensified. Dean was here, and as long as his brother was with him he would find the strength to keep going. _"You have to fight this, Sammy."_

"I don't know how." Sam scrabbled desperately in his own mind for answers, for a way out, but he was confused and frightened and hurting.

"_You said that Ava said it was like flicking a switch, right? Well, every switch has an 'off'. You just have to find it."_ Dean's words made so much sense, made the problem less complicated; he could always count on his brother to help him focus, to cut through to the heart of things where Sam sometimes over-thought.

It had always been the way of their family. John lost in the past, Sam looking out for their future, Dean their foundation in the present. It sometimes meant that Sam could get so tangled in the what ifs of the future that he became lost and tangled in his own thoughts. Dean had always been the only one who could find his way through them and clear the way for his brother to figure out what needed to be done.

And Dean had been explaining things to him all his life. _Why is the sky blue, why is Daddy mad at me, why do bad things happen to good people, where's Mom…_ Dean had a knack for getting through to Sam, even when Sam was sick and too tired to think for himself.

Sam concentrated on finding the switch that had so easily been flipped on but now seemed so elusive. The blaze within intensified at the perceived threat and seemed to remove all oxygen from the air around him, his lungs sucking uselessly at the air, his lips parting in distressed wheezing. There was nothing now, no cooling blockade to separate him from the flames licking determinedly at his soul.

He felt his body betray him and fall.

Detachedly, he could feel his brother pull him to an upright position, but every movement was a jarring agony that threatened to overwhelm him.

"God, Dean…make it stop, please…I'm on fire!" He knew he was begging but couldn't help himself; he didn't know how much more of this he could take.

"_You can fight this, Sam, don't give in."_

"She said no one had ever beaten this." Sam murmured fearfully. _What had he been thinking? He wasn't strong enough, was never strong enough. _Everywhere his failing mind turned was fire and pain. He was dwarfed by it, terrorized within his own soul. It was as if a sun was imploding within him, every cell tortured, divided as the heat of the demonic taint fought against the cool, beckoning oblivion. He felt his blood boiling and something intangible yet precious, tearing, searing, breaking apart. Every molecule seemed to be battling to maintain the balance of twisting irretrievably out of control and surrendering.

Dean's words continued, helping his focus, underpinning his flagging strength.

"_Yeah, well you're a Winchester. What the hell does she know? Besides, you are not fighting this alone remember?" _

Sam remembered and continued his elusive search. He twisted as more pain—somehow impossibly_ worse_ than before—began to lance through his body, causing his arms and legs to cramp and twitch. He tried to draw himself up into a foetal position and felt Dean's arms move protectively around him, a safe harbour in his storm of fire.

"_Sam, you have to do it now!"_

"I can't!" Sam screamed. The blaze now pummelling at him, forcing the storm deeper within his soul, and he could feel something start to shatter within. His heart, already racing, sped faster as the last of his defences began to buckle and crumble. His barriers were falling in too many places and there was no where left to turn. Despite everything he and Dean had survived, he was losing.

He felt his body be cradled firmly but ever-so-gently and felt the prickle of Dean's stubble rub against the top of his head. He could feel the frantic thrum of Dean's heart, which seemed to try to rival the speed of his own

Tears bathed his cheeks in hot, salty droplets, the water spitting and sizzling where they fell. These were not his tears, he knew, the temperature of his body making it impossible. Worse—they were Dean's.

Copper joined salt on his lips, and Sam could feel the steady flow of blood flooding down across his lips and chin. Strong arms tightened around him, and he felt himself be shushed and rocked, his brother's warm breath ruffling his hair, a touch of cloth and skin as the blood was gently wiped away.

And Sam found that if he focused on that, on the here and now, it gave him something solid to hold to. He felt unexpectedly protected, sheltered. He could feel Dean's breath steadying, his own body instinctually trying to find a matching rhythm.

"_I'm here, you're not alone, Sammy, I'm here, don't go."_ And the tears now falling seemed to cool Sam a little, cleansing in their touch.

"_You can do this, kiddo. I'm here, I'm not leaving. Just stay with me and we'll be fine."_

Sam felt himself finally calm under Dean's rocking, the quiet words soothing his panic. A strange lethargy fell across him. He could feel his heartbeat slowing in time with Dean's and as he did, the fire in his soul seemed to wane slightly. It gave him the moment of clarity he desperately needed. "Poison." He murmured.

He opened eyes that had been closed tightly against the pain and tilted his head so that he was looking up at his brother.

"Dean…" He whispered.

"Yeah, Sam?"

"I know what to do."

"That's my boy."

"Don't leave." Sam grasped his brother and burrowed his head against Dean's chest, needing his strength, wanting him close.

"Not going anywhere, kiddo."

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Wait for me here."

Sam stiffened in his brother's arms as he focused on the taint within.

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Dean's heart began to hammer as the muscles in Sam's body became taut and unyielding and began to convulse. The spasms became more violent and seemed to go on and on. His heart threatened to stop entirely when suddenly Sam went limp his breathing shallowing until it stopped completely.

"Sam? Sammy? No…Don't you do this, kiddo, not now. The demon's dead, the deal is over._ Please_, Sammy, please. Stay with me. You told me to wait, and you _know_ I'm not a patient man."

Sam stubbornly refused to start breathing and the elder brother's eyes began to burn, his breath hitched painfully. This moment in time seemed to freeze along with his soul as his slowly mending heart shattered once again.

An infinity seemed to pass in a heartbeat and time seemed to mock the Winchesters once more.

A year had passed since Sam had first been lost to him. Taken by a coward and a traitor, who had stabbed his brother in his back and simultaneously destroyed Dean's world. A year since he had arrived mere moments too late.

Twelve months had slipped by since he made a selfless choice for selfish reasons and committed his soul to a deal with a demon.

365 days of watching his brother slowly self-destruct in his determination to save him.

8760 hours he had wasted in not realising that Sam was still keeping something to himself and in ignorance, or maybe just denial of what Sam's final choice would be.

525,600 minutes spent both relishing the time he had left, the stolen time to spend one more year with his brother, and dreading the end, knowing exactly when it was coming and finally realising the cost of his bargain.

31,536,000 seconds between that death and this one. Nothing had changed, yet everything was different. Last time, he had been unable to prevent Sam's death. This time, he was the cause of it. Then, his brother feared the evil within in case he hurt his brother. This time, Sam willingly embraced it to save him.

A lonely eternity without the other half of his soul lay before Dean, a figureless number of heartbeats, and an immeasurable number of breaths.

He clutched his brother tighter. No. Sam had said wait for him, and that meant he was coming back. And Sam Winchester always kept his promises.

Dean laid his forehead against Sam's and prayed, not to a specific god or higher being, or to whatever God Sam had believed in. Just to whoever was listening, to help his brother come home, to give him the strength to fight the battle that Dean somehow knew was still waging within. To lend whatever courage he had to aid his fallen brother, to share the warmth of his soul until Sam could find his way back to his own.

It was time to believe in his brother.

"Please, Sammy. Come back. I'm here."

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"Get out." Sam growled at the alien presence, the poisonous essence left by the Demon, hidden within his soul. "There is nothing for you here." He filled his mind with thoughts of his brother, bursting to the brim with memories of youth and happier days. Image after image flowed, carrying with it a tide of emotion. He remembered their times together, the good and the bad.

Unrestricted and unrestrained, he focused on his brother, instinctually knowing that their bond was a threat, something pure that had not been contaminated by the demon blood. Dean had somehow kept a part of his soul unsullied and protected. Sam relinquished his fate to the love and faith he had in Dean, the belief in his brother giving him shelter and warmth, as he had all his life.

Quicksilver flashes danced around him, within him. Memories of car journeys and motel rooms, bars and roads travelled, of pranks and drunken conversations. He recalled all the times they had spent together, their arguments and bickering, the apologies and banter, the sparring, the laughter and the tears. He drew to him the warmth that was his brother's soul, the strength, the quiet fortitude and selfless sorrow. He let the balm that was his brother's presence infuse his soul and the antidote of their bond swept through him.

There was a hiss like a cornered cat and Sam moved relentlessly forward, driving the evil seed out an agonising bit at a time. Every pain it inflicted he met with memory, every flame strike at his soul, every tortured breath it stole from him, he countered with emotion. The demonic germ fought and tore at his mind and heart, until, shrieking, it lashed out with its last, battering Sam's spirit; tearing, scorching, trying to inflict as much damage as it could before it was finally, inexorably driven out by the power of two brothers' love.

Sam relaxed as the sensation of the taint dispelled. It was gone, it was finally over and he felt a deep weariness tug at him. He sank into it for a moment.

"_Please, Sammy. Come back. I'm here."_

His brother's stricken voice reached the youngest Winchester where he drifted. He had never been able to refuse his brother, and especially not when he sounded so scared and alone.

Sam slowly opened his eyes to see the overwhelming relief in his brother's moss green eyes.

"I thought I'd lost you again, Sammy." Dean whispered.

"I was tired; I just needed to rest a moment."

"Well, next time don't be so freakin' lazy and come straight home! You ok?" Dean asked gruffly, trying to mask his vulnerability.

"I'm fine." A smile as warm as the midday sun spread wide across the younger brother's face. "Thank you."

"For what?" Dean was genuinely puzzled.

"For waiting. For saving me."

"What did I do? You beat this on your own - I didn't do anything!"

"Don't you know, Dean?"

"Know what?"

"You save me every single day." Sam saw understanding dawn in his brother's eyes and a smile to match his own lit his brother's face, making him look years younger. And Sam felt happy and at peace for the first time in what seemed like years. It felt like they were kids again with the whole of their lives still before them.

"You too, bitch." Dean ruffled his brother's hair and pulled him into a tight, fierce hug.

Laughter bubbled deep in his chest as Sam muttered, "You are turning into such a girl, you jerk." That didn't stop him hugging his brother just as tightly.

"Yeah, well…I've obviously been around you too much." The brothers pulled apart and Dean dragged his brother to his feet, "So, where now, Sam?

"Anywhere away from here is fine with me."

"Sounds good to me. Do you think you can stand?"

Despite what Sam had been through, he suddenly felt lighter, more himself than he had felt in years. Winded and incredibly thirsty, he looked impishly at his older brother.

"Race you to the car?"

"Dude, you'll fall flat on your face. The only race you would win would be falling face first in the dirt." He pulled Sam to his feet, noting how surprisingly smoothly Sam rose to his feet and that, although pale, was able to stand unaided and steady.

"Hey, no fair, you cheated." Sam gasped out as, grinning, Dean suddenly pushed him back and hurtled off at top speed.

Chuckling, Sam hurried in pursuit of his brother.

The two young men's exhilarated, joy-filled laughter filled the brightening dawn air as they raced towards the waiting, black Impala, Dean tugging his brother back in true big brother style as Sam's long legs threatened to overtake him.

Two brothers, side by side - leaving the night behind them.

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**A/N. **

Hope this was ok, please let me know!

Thanks again to all who have read this, and I hope that you have enjoyed reading this fic half as much as I have enjoyed writing it!


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